Good news. I'm going to be an uncle. Yay me. And it's going to be a girl, which is nice I guess, if children are your sort of thing.Which got me thinking. When my sister told me that she was going to have a baby, she said something to the effect of, "Hey bro, guess what? I'm pregnant!" And then we gushed to each other for the next ten minutes about baby names, gaining weight, odd cravings, and the such like.
But I forgot to tell my sister (her name is Megan) how proud I was that she hadn't committed the egregious sin that so many couples do when they find out that they're going to have a new member added to their family.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have heard men--grown, mature, even muscular men--say something like, "Guess what? We're pregnant!" And then I gush to them about how retarded they just made themselves look by saying something so utterly ridiculous.
Let's dissect this commonly misused phrase so we can all understand why it is so wrong to use.
We: plural pronoun that refers to more than one person
So by using this term, the man (or sometimes woman) is saying that they are both carrying the fetus in their shared uterus...or something close to that effect. That is an impossible feat, agreed?
are: verb...actually, a linking verb for those grammar junkies out there like me
Really adds no significance to the phrase. Poor verbs...they're so neglected!
pregnant: an adjective that relates to someone who is with child (usually a woman)
Females are the only people who can have babies, correct? Men are not females, therefore they cannot become pregnant, no matter how hard they may try.
So now that we're all on the same page, let's review.
Females and males make babies. Females get pregnant. Females carry the babies and get fat by doing so. Men sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. And men are not able to get pregnant, so therefore the phrase, "We're pregnant!" is both physically and emotionally perplexing and should never be used in the company of other humans with ears.
And by the way, am I the only one who thinks that pregnancy pictures are totally gross and unnecessary? Come on lady--I know there's a baby in there somewhere, and I don't need to see your naked belly in order to be convinced. I care about seeing the child after he or she is born, OK?
There's one good thing that could come out of the use of the "we're pregnant" phrase (I happen to dislike that phrase, myself). It could provide a reason for why "the right to choose" shouldn't just be for the expectant mother, but also for her partner, who is "pregant" along with her! The rule would be that if EITHER parent wants to keep the child, an abortion would be illegal. It gives the child a better chance at life in a very abortion-friendly world. Finally fathers will get some reproductive rights, too! :) Of course it would be ideal if everyone valued the sanctity of life, and no abortions were performed whatsoever.
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